Movie Idea: Puss in Boots Must be DEAD! (Shrek)

Did it work? Hello Internet. Welcome to Film Theory, the show *who’syour favorite fearless theorist* You guys see Puss in Boots: The Last Wish? Review in a word. Wow! We have come a long way from the originalPuss in Boots. Needless to say, I did not go in expectingthis new movie to be all that great. But DreamWorks basically kicked down the doorand said.

The story's wholesome. The characters are immediately iconic. And the animation; man! Between this film, Into the Spider-Verse andMitchells versus the Machine. Mickey and the gang got to be quaking in theirboots. Mouse in boots. In case you haven't seen it yet, the LastWish follows our hero cat as he realizes that he's on the last of his nine lives. And so he goes on an adventure to find a fallenstar that will help him wish those lives back.

But Puss isn't the only one who wants thatwish. His former partner Kitty Softpaws, Goldilocksand her three bears crime family and the unapologetically evil pie baron Big Jack Horner are all afterit, too. I love this guy. He is one of my all time favorite villains. And if that wasn't bad enough, a mysterioushooded wolf wants to claim Puss’s his last life for himself. Why? Well, because he’s Death.

Yup. The physical manifestation of death itselfis after Puss in Boots because he doesn't feel like Puss has respected the lives thathe's been given. That said, all of this about wishing for morelives and Death chasing him, it's all a moot point. Puss should already be dead. His ninth life is long gone. Forget the Tumblr sexy man wolf or pie boyover there. The biggest threat is Puss himself. Based on everything that we see from him inthis movie, he'd be dead multiple times over.

By my count, we're talking at least seven. And I don't mean stuff like riding explosivefireworks or getting thrown into signs that crashed through windows or anything like that. No, you see, loyal theorists, almost everychoice that Puss makes endangers his life. Death is absolutely right about Puss playingit fast and loose with these lives. But we're not talking about the big pictureadventuring stuff. I'm talking about all the mundane, everydaythings that’s slowly killing this cat. Puss in Boots is wasting his final life. And I'm about to prove it to you.

Grab your star maps and your therapy dogs,loyal theorists. It's time to dive in. First of all, let's just start with what wesee Puss in Boots eating throughout the film. See, Puss eats and drinks a lot of stuff thatwould be super unhealthy for a cat. And before you jump down into the commentsection telling me that this is just a cartoon with a magic cat MatPat, you need to stoptaking all these things way too seriously. First off, do you know what channel you'reon? Secondly, though, we absolutely should betaking a look at what Puss is eating and drinking because we already know that it straight upwas the cause of one of his deaths.

During that opening montage. Puss Eats… eats shellfish. During this opening montage, Puss eats shellf.. Wow. That is… that might be one of the hardesttongue twisters in a long time. During that opening montage, Puss eats shellfishand dies as a result. WOO did it! Now it's played for a joke in the movie. But shellfish allergies are definitely a thingthat can happen to a cat.

In fact, many of the symptoms are similarto what we see Puss dealing with in the film Hives, as well as swelling of the face andlimbs. Admittedly, death is a bit of an extreme reactionto having this allergy. Normally, symptoms for cats are more mild,including hair loss, rashes, blisters, scratching. Though some cats do experience respiratoryproblems as a result of the swelling, which can lead to their death. Why am I bringing all that up? Well, because it shows us that Puss in Bootsis sensitive to this kind of stuff. And throughout the movie, we see him consuminga lot of stuff.

That would be a no go for a cat. Firstly, we're talking about Puss’s drinkof choice, creme. or milk, I suppose. We see him drink a lot of it throughout themovie. It almost seems to have this alcoholic propertyfor Puss, but that's not how real cats react to drinking milk. According to the People's Dispensary for sickanimals, milk can be bad news for our feline friends. See, adult cats are lactose intolerant. Their intestines don't have the enzyme lactase,which would help them break down the sugars in milk.

And even if they could physically drink it,you probably shouldn't be giving your cat milk anyway. Milk is full of fat. Basically a saucer worth of milk would bethe equivalent of a human eating an entire 12 inch pizza in a day. And look at how much we see Puss in Bootsdrinking in just this movie alone. Do you see all those empty glasses on thebar? From this aerial wide shot I count at leasteight empty glasses, plus the one that he's working on.

And Puss isn't even done. That right there is the equivalent of Pusseating nine plus full pizzas worth of fat in just one sitting. And this is coming the day after he had yetanother milk binge. So despite what all the old cartoons saidabout giving your cats milk as a treat, do not do it. It is just super unhealthy and can lead tocats becoming overweight and/or their early death. So chalk up one extra death for Puss. He met his maker through milk.

But perhaps even worse than the milk. Coffee. The opening fight against the giant of DelMar we see Puss do this. Caffeine is really unhealthy for cats to thepoint that it can be seriously dangerous for them to consume considering their smallerbodies. If you want to know more about how crazy dangerouscaffeine can be in higher doses with humans, we actually just did a video about that overon Food Theory. But for a cat? Side effects from a cat consuming caffeineincludes an increased heart rate, abnormal.

Heart rhythms, vomiting, diarrhea, tremorsand seizures. According to the Pet Poison Helpline, a moderateamount of coffee can easily cause death in small dogs or cats. Now, before you start freaking out and hidingall your coffee in a locked box away from your animals, a small sip of coffee probablywouldn't impact a young, healthy animal too much. But Puss isn't that young anymore, so downingan entire cup of coffee like we see? that is going to be bad news for this animaland might literally have been the end of him if the bell didn't crush him to death mereminutes later. Caffeine overdose, death number two.

But it's likely that puts would have diedlong before this movie. In fact, he would have died during the promotionaltour for this movie. Are you kidding me? A fictional cat got onto Hot Ones before me. Screw that noise. No, but he's killing me Puss, he's killingme. But, yeah, he's probably killing you, too. You see, the capsaicin in hot sauce is, asyou might guess, dangerous for cats. With studies showing that it can constrictbreathing, cause severe irritation in the.

Throats and digestive system and in high enoughdoses cause death. And when you're talking about a 2 millionScoville hot sauce, yeah I'd say that's a fairly high dose for a feline. And then, of course, you have the literaltankard of milk. Hot Ones: Taking out Puss’s life beforehe even knew he needed a last wish. Capsaicin calamity: death number three. Seriously, Sean, when you do eventually haveme on, I promise I won't make a mess of your studio. So, okay. Clearly Puss has himself some dietary issues,but there are other choices that he makes.

That probably would have gotten him killeda lot sooner. Specifically the whole “In Boots” thing. Sure. Your drip may be on fleek there, Puss, butyou should not be wearing all these clothes in your particular line of work. I don't know if you've ever tried to dressup your cat, but they do not enjoy it. In fact, a lot of experts recommend againstdressing up your cat at all, mostly because it causes them a lot of stress with no realbenefit other than some fake internet points for you.

But even if Puss is the exception here andenjoys his clothes, his attire will have deadly consequences. Let's just start from the top, shall we? First of all, the hat. This one item of clothing would probably getPuss killed for two d ifferent reasons. First, by wearing a wide brimmed hat likePuss does in the series, he wouldn't be able to take full advantage of his whiskers. You see, cats don't see the world the sameway that we do. They have a whole suite of abilities to helpthem sense what's around them, and their whiskers are a crucial part of that system.

The whiskers act like a sort of radar ableto sense changes in air currents, vibrations in the air. They also serve as the first level of alertif anything gets too close to their face. Additionally, while a cat's long distanceeyesight is good at very close distances, they struggle to see anything that's closerthan 30 centimeters in front of them. As a result, their whiskers help them navigatethat close up world. By touching the whiskers against objects,they can tell where things are, how big they are, even sensing their texture. But the hat is going to stop all of that fromhappening.

It's going to change the airflow. It's going to change vibrations. It's going to prevent Puss from getting hisface close to objects so his whiskers can touch them. Basically, the hat is going to be dullingone of his most important senses, or I suppose I should say two of his most important senses. You notice what else that covers? his ears. That would be a problem, regardless of whetheryou're talking about a human or an animal.

Basically, you're just muffling the sound,allowing enemies to more easily flank or sneak up on you almost exactly like we see deathdo in the movie. If Death here didn't want to be so dramatic,he could have killed Puss and gone about his business without the cat being any the wiser. But the dulling of his hearing is actuallyworse for Puss because he's a cat. You see, cats have some of the best hearingof pretty much any animal you're going to have around the house with a wider auditoryrange than both humans and dogs. But we're not just talking about better hearingranges. Cats have a lot of muscle control over theirears and they're able to turn their ears towards.

Any source of sound. I don't know if you've ever noticed that withany cats that you know, but if you make a sound in a quiet room, just notice how theirears are able to pivot in your direction like a big antenna or a radar disk. This cool technique increases their hearingsensitivity by 15 to 20%. Wearing a hat is going to eliminate all ofthat, and that's without even mentioning all the other biological ramifications, wearinga hat basically nerfs all of a cat's hearing benefits. And all of this is without even mentioningthe other biological ramifications, like the.

Fact that cats release a lot of their excessheat when stressed through their ears, meaning that Puss is going to be sweltering in anybattle he's in the middle of. All in all, he may look dapper, but that'sa Hat-astrophe that's waiting to happen. Death number four. Similarly Puss’s cape is also going to becausing him a massive problem. For all intents and purposes, the cape isgoing to act like a collar, but just much more dangerous than a normal collar. See, though, putting a collar on your catis usually fine and helps identify your feline friend to strangers.

They can be dangerous in specific situations. If they become snagged on some sort of object,like a branch or rock, then the cat might be choked or strangled. The cape is going to present all of the exactsame problems, but ten times worse because it's just a bolt of fabric that's hangingfrom his neck. Puss’s cape is just an open invitation forhim to be caught and choked, especially in a fight with an enemy who's smart enough tojust grab the thing. And wouldn’t you know it, that's exactlywhat we see happen in this new movie. Honestly, Edna mode from The Incredibles’sbeen right about this one for decades.

No capes! It's death number five. No escape for this cape. But perhaps the worst in this whole attire? The boots. You ever notice how cats try to get anythingthat's stuck on their feet off? Puss himself literally does this in the moviewhen he's forced to wear those little kitten mittens. Puss: Stupid Mittens.

Cats don't like having their paws coveredfor a lot of reasons. Some of them are kind of mundane, like thefact that there are scent glands in their paws that help them mark their territory. They're also comforted by needing their littlecat beans on their owners' stomachs. But other reasons are a lot more serious. The most obvious one is that paw pads area massive shock absorber. They help cats remain quiet and stealthy. Cats literally evolved to walk on their toesso they can move more silently. Changing that up to loud heavy boots clickclacking as Puss moves around is going to.

Give up a massive natural advantage that catshave as fighters. Another problem? Cats actually sweat through their paws, mostlywhen they're nervous. Ever take your cat to the vet and notice thatthere's damp little footprints everywhere? So if Puss in Boots ever gets anxious or scared,he's going to basically be standing in a pool of his own sweat in the boots. On top of getting himself a case of sweatypalms and dropping his sword everywhere. Ha, I wonder if we've ever seen that in themovie. But not only is it a problem in battle, it'salso just unhealthy for Puss.

Sweating helps regulate your body temperature,cooling you by evaporating on the skin. This works the same way with the sweat comingfrom cat paws, but it simply wouldn't be possible if two of Puss’s paws were in leather bootsthat don't breathe at all. They'd be sticky and gross and wouldn't helphim cool off. And if anyone is in need of staying cool,it's Puss. Without the ability to sweat unimpeded Pussis running the risk of overheating, especially during those anxious fits after he fightsDeath. And on top of all of that, just like the hatcovering his ears, covering up pussies, pores are also going to be a massive disadvantagewhen it comes to his senses.

It’s not super common knowledge, but catsactually have tiny tactile hairs between their pop pads that act similarly to whiskers. These hairs not only act as a protective coveringagainst debris, chemicals or exposure to the elements. But along with nerve receptors in the padsthemselves, they let the cat know a lot about the ground that they're walking on. What sort of material is it? What's the temperature? With the boots, he's losing basically allof the feedback that cats get from their paw pads and the hairs touching the ground.

In short, it's a recipe for death number six:Death in Boots. So is that it? Did his vet/barber. Have the right idea in the film when he saidthat Puss should abandon his outfit and retire? that he should be living out his life withthat old woman, Mama Luna, lounging around the house as a normal house cat? Well, not exactly. Resigning himself to a life of pickles. May just have been the most dangerous thingfor him in the movie.

See, despite this being the simple, easy lifefor Puss in Boots, he should not be spending his sunset years with Mama Luna. And it all comes down to one super simplething: poop. You see, despite being played as a joke inthe film, there's only one litter box in her entire house. Only one! A single box for, how many cats does she have? Dozens, at least. If you pause the movie at this wide shot,you can count at least 45 cats in the house,.

Including Puss. Frankly, that is just far too many cats tobe sharing a single litter box. Unless Mama Luna's cleaning that box everysingle time a cat goes potty, which she is definitely not given how gross that thinglooks and how comically long the queue is to use it. The cats are going to be actively steppingin each other's waste. Not only is that just disgusting, this setup would create a hotspot for the spread of disease between the cats. The most serious of these fecal borne diseasesis the type of coronavirus infection that.

Can mutate into feline infectious peritonitisor FIP, a disease that's commonly fatal to cats. So yet again, Puss choosing this life wouldprobably have also led to his premature death. Death number seven: One crappy way to die. Honestly, if Puss really wanted to choosea life that wouldn't be courting death, that wouldn't be putting him in constant dangerfor no reason. He just needs to be a normal house cat. So Puss, hang up your sweaty boots and yoursound dampening hat and find yourself a nice old lady who doesn't have 44 other cats.

All in all, by my count, Puss probably shouldhave died a total of seven extra times than we see recounted in the movie. In total, we're talking about 15 deaths. Looking at it that way, a sickle carryingwolf and a unicorn horn cross boing maniac were probably the least of Puss’s concerns. Really when it comes to valuing your life,a lot of times it's the little things, the small, everyday decisions that ultimatelyadd up to the life that's well lived. Maybe that's why Wolfie was following himthe whole time. It wasn't to punish Puss for his recklessadventuring, but instead to consult him on.

Proper dress and a heart healthy diet to keephim alive longer. Seriously, even if he got his wish for anothernine lives, he'd still only have three remaining. Why not ask for, like, I don't know, a hundredextra lives there Puss? I guess counting really isn't your strongsuit. But hey! Speaking of cats needing to eat better sothey can live longer, healthier lives, let's talk about Meow Mix, the sponsor for today'sepisode. In case you don't know Steph and I have acat named Skip who's been a part of our lives and these channels for a long time.

A long, long time. Long enough that he's not impressed with allthat much anymore. Just look at that face. You know how a lot of things tend to get overwhelmed? Well, that right there is one entirely whelmedcat. He's been plenty of places and he's definitelyseen some things. But one thing that still gets Skip runningis dinner time with Meow Mix. Every day. Boom! Highlight of the day he is right therethat bowl enough so that and I'm not making.

This up when Meow Mix actually sent us a bunchof product just to film with he literally ripped into one of the bags that they sentus just to get at the food. He was that excited and honestly, we couldn'tbe happier. Meow Mix is the perfect food for Skip. Despite his impressive bite strength, Skip'sno spring chicken anymore. He's now 12 years old and we want to makesure that he's able to stay healthy and strong. Meow Mix Original Choice has 100% completeand balanced nutrition, providing him with every essential vitamin and mineral he needs. But it's also packed with protein to helpkeep his muscles strong.

On top of all of that, Meow Mix comes in aton of different flavors as well as both wet and dry foods. So if your cat's a picky eater, or you justwant to change it up and expand their flavor palate. There's something here designed to satisfyeven the pickiest of kitty cats. So if you want to make sure that you're givingyour cat food that they're going to love, check out Meow Mix in all its varieties byclicking the link down in the description. Again thanks to Meow Mix for sponsoring today'sepisode. We appreciate it and Skip really appreciatesit. And as always, my friends remember, it's alljust a theory.

A FILM THEORY! aaaaaand cut.

Sharing is caring!